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「ねえ、 今すぐ会いたいよ」
Monday, March 8, 2010  Let's GO. at 12:47 AM |
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Hello, and Goodbye? I'm not actually quite sure how to collect my thoughts at the moment. But Nina told me to post what happened between Sora and Yano. This weekend has been basically like hell, so I'll probably use "inappropriate" language. I do want to forget him, but I think if I was to forget him, I'll miss him. Maybe I'll just move on from him as a lover, rather than as a person. Hmm... now that I think about it maybe I should explain the situation. -Takes a deep breathe- So basically, I (Sora) was planning to tell Yano that I (Sora...) like him (Yano...) I'm actually kind of.... nervous(?) to talk about this.... that's mainly the reason why I haven't blogged. Sorry. Anyways, I'll try to continue ^^. I guess you heard about Luna's birthday party being a total reck, well I didn't mention the whole situation between Yano and me, at the time, it didn't seem important. During the party, I made pretty much a promise to Luna that I would tell Yano that I sort of kind of like him, but that failed cause I guess my mind was too occupied with other... situations. So then on Monday, I decided to attempt on telling him, but freaked out and ran away. Tuesday, I didn't have a chance to run into him actually (without having the intention to avoid him). But from those days, Yano knew that I had something "important" to tell him. Wednesday, I was close, but still ran away. And on that day, Yano asked Rora, Riku and Luna. Luna being in a different position than Rora and Riku, she had a longer time to talk to Yano about Sora. Mmm, rather than saying "then Luna said like this and this and this" I'm going to type it in an actual "conversation" format. Yano: So what did Sora want to ask me? Luna: Uh... I think you should ask her that yourself. Yano: Did she want to ask me out or something... again? Luna: Not really... but if she did what would you say? Yano: Uh... I went back with my girlfriend... the one that moved to Toronto... but then came back. Luna: Oh... well you should tell Sora that. Yano: No you do it. Luna: No you do it! Yano: But then it'll become awkward! Luna & Yano: Kay, Izuki will do it. In the end, Izuki didn't do it, cause apparently he forgot. But honestly that was a jick (dick + jerk) move. I'm not sure whether to say that I expected it from Yano... But I expected him to say "no". I have to admit that I kind of lied on my reason to tell Yano that I like him. Sure, it was for the chances (but I figured I had none), but it was more of getting it over with. Although, this isn't exactly the way I thought it out to be, I wasn't really expecting him to do such a whimpy move. Yeah, sure I'm pretty pissed off at him, but I don't think it'll last that long. A lot of people said that he was flirting with me during Luna's party, honestly, I'm not really sure, I guess that's why they call me the "child". But if he was flirting with me, if he was trying to lead me on, I'd probably be mad at that too. I wish I didn't fall for someone like him, I would have rather for someone possibly like Aaron, but I guess I didn't. Don't even worry~ I won't use him as a rebound, honestly I probably wouldn't know how to, lol. Now that the explanation is done (and for further detail, I guess... e-mail me? lol). Back to my straight-up feelings :) I'm not sure whether to say "I'm okay" or "I'm bad" and what-not, but I do consider this "experience" my first heartbreak. Sounds pathetic? I'm already pretty damn old and yet this is only my first. Honestly! I've been googling and getting into more "research" about what people go through during a heartbreak or a breakup. So confused... apparently there's such things as "phases of a heartbreak" according to Google. But~ Google isn't the only thing that I've gotten "advice" or "comfort" from. I'm thankful for those that I surrounded myself with for the past couple of days. (No specific order) 1. Aaron, for sure. Although, seemingly he doesn't know the situation that well, he's quite good at guessing. 2. Luna and Riku, just to make me laugh. And thank you to Luna for telling me. 3. Ona and Rora for advicing me, and telling me that he's a jerk/jick (according to Ona). I wish Nina was around more, but it can't be helped. Oh right, Friday, was when I was told. To make myself feel better, I decided to go visit Owen at his family store (he was working), along with Ona and Rora. Sadly, I ended up running into Yano, whom was walking on the opposite sidewalk from the rest of us. Owen, saying a "manly" hello, Rora running back after Yano to ask for a smoke (fail), and I, Sora, who just ran away from him. I'm not sure whether to regret the fact that I ran away (seemingly pathetic), but at the same time I knew I wasn't ready to face him, and that I'd break down. I'm not sure if that's normal? I truly wonder........ hm. I'll probably act slightly weird, being called "unggoy" I'll probably end up punching and knocking down that person (or at least try to). Things that remind me of him, I'll put them away (including the phone chain). I'm not sure if this will work, but I'll try it anyway. BUT I'll move on (for sure) I'm not sure how long it'll take, but hopefully it's soon. But I have to admit, I probably did actually... truly... like this boy. |
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Name: Sora (원숭이)
